Where does it go? And why is it that we only realise how precious it is when there is less of it?
After having been under lockdown now for a full 3 months and getting the information that I am to be taken off furlough tomorrow and start work again, I question myself, why didn’t I do more, make more of this precious time. I still have so much I want to do /should have done. It feels like only yesterday that it was announced that the world was to stop and at the same time it feels like a life time ago. The weeks have dragged but at the same time have flown. One day has melded into the next, with no structure, no urgency. All the good intentions in my mind of “Ah I now have time to do the things I long to do.” These things that I had always put off with the excuse of not having enough time.
I have drawn (and sold some of my works), blogged, run, read, climbed mountains, with no pressure of time, of having to hurry to get it done. And got bored with the hours of precious time stretching out in front of me. So why do I feel guilty, maybe a bit disappointed in myself. Reading about all the wonderful things others have done with their time. Was it the time wasted aimlessly watching series repeats, and making the excuses in my mind not to run, read, walk, draw. To procrastinate. But was it wasted? It was what I wanted to do at the time. With the event of social media, the natural human response is to compare ourselves to others achievements, we put ourselves under undue pressure to perform to perceived expectations. But, we are all individuals.
I believe I live life to the fullest, and if I feel I am wasting time, I will embrace it. It’s a cliché I know, but this lockdown has brought it even more to the fore, “Time is precious, spend it wisely.” And without guilt!